as if the previous wasn't enough?!? :O
OK, now i'm really starting to question your motives. :P
well, i did say i would deliver so here goes.
worst kind of toture mentally?
first off i'd like to define my def'n of torture. For me, torture is any act that makes me perturbed, angry, frustrated, sad, or revolted; and which i am able to do nothing about. alternatively, it is something that i want to obtain, change, or rid myself or this world of; and which i am able to do nothing about. such as xIronManx refusing me entry to his site, AIDS in africa, and me not being an admin.. :(
K back to what's worst in my opinion. Mental torture is, to my knowledge, the worst thing one could do to another especially if the torture is effective. Emoitonal would take second place, because i just happen to be one of those people who place knowledge a lot higher than other things like physical strength.
The worst mental torture i can imagine then would be to be locked in a room with nothing else in the room. Not even a lightbuld. However it would have to be lit, so the walls themselves would be emminating a dull light. or the ceiling. Probably the ceiling, cuz i'd go blind from looking at the walls, and for this to be effective i'd need to keep my eyesight. I'll explain why in a minute.
I'd need to be fed too, so the food would need to have all the necessary nutrients and vitamins but contain no flavour and no colour other than pasty grey, brown, or white. The only thing i've heard of close to this would be ration cubes like they use in the army when under seige or when food supplies are cut off. To drink: water, and it HAS TO BE AT ROOM TEMPERATURE. I can't dtink water that is at room temperature or above, so no iced water, nor even slightly cooled water. Preferrably well water, because that has a rather repulsive taste to a city dweller like me, and i have tried it before. But it has to be clean. for this torture to work i cannot get sick.
By now you must see where i'm heading. I'd be unable to do ANYTHING! most people when they think of that, they assume they can still go look in the fridge for a snack, or grab a drink, and then find somehting to do; even something as lame as like taking out the trash. Well not for me. And since i'm extra-creative, i have to make sure there is no possible way to exercise that creativity. Even human waste (excrement) can become a creative media if you let it, so they'd need to keep the room completely sterile while i am in it. Eventually i'd go mad and try to stangle myself just to get out of my misery. then they'd need to have knock-out gas on hand to stop me in case i try.
Have you picked out my underlying theme yet? if not please continue reading. i'll warn you though, it won't be prettier later on.
The worst emotional torture i could experience, I now rank second, only because i have already experienced it once, though not in entirety. (therefore mental goes first cuz it hasn't yet happened, and the unknown is something all humans have a natural fear of.)
the worst thing that could happen is one day I go to school and some people start treating me a little off, say, calling names, tripping me in the corridor, unnecessary pranks, and so on. I go home and i try to explain the evnts of my day to my partents at supper, but they don't really listen cuz they're paying more attantion to my sisters' accounts of their days. I spend the evening posting on lolwiki and no one is posting. :( The next day i go back to school and now some more influential kids start teasing me. By this point i might already be swinging punches cuz i have a rather short fuse, and the previous day was trying enough. I get sent to the office for whatever crime i commit to the perpetrators, and the principal takes their side because "hitting is not the answer" (but frankly, neither is bullying.) I get a detention, and while i'm in the room writing lines, some of my friends walk by. I watch in aggony as they snigger and point at me, and then the teacher slaps my wrists with a ruler and they laugh outright. Again i go home and try to explain the events to my parents but they both only have a second for a bite to eat before they head out to business meetings. So I call My out-of-school friends to see if they have anything encouraging to say. for whatever reason, i can't get through to any. I go to sleep and dream of waking up in class in my underwear, and everyone laughs, and the grim reaper just so happens to be my teacher. day three at school i get the news from my parents that they've decided to send me to a different school than the one ALL my friends will be going to, at the end of the year. I tell this to my most confidential in-school friend, and he gets truned off just like that, and walks away, refusing to talk for the rest of the day (and year, as i find out.) He figures our relationship is as good as dead so we might as well cut if off right now. I am deeply scarred, and the kids shouting "Four eyes! Four eyes!" as they walk by (including those who were my other in-school friends) do not help at all. And when i go home, no-one wants to hear my side because they are all pumped that i'm going to this new school at the end of the year.
So far all these events have happened to me… not recently, it was about 4 years ago now, almost to the date. To further enhance this string of events i will expand on the story. This new version is the one i truly fear.
Next day at school finds me eating lunch alone in a corner, as i have no friends left to sit with. A rather large kid comes over to me and demands some food. I tell him i need it more than he does, then get beaten sensless and have all my food taken as well as my class notes shredded, and calculator broken. I wake up in a hospital. Apparently i've been kncoked out not just by the fat kid but also by medications, as i've had to have major facial reconstruction surgery. the nurse then wheeles me out of the room to go to a different one so the doctor can test me now that i'm awake. In the hallway we pass by another boy on a stretcher and i cry out as i recognize my best friend's bloodied face. The nurse tells me he was in a car accident and that he's on life support: he's not expected to survive much longer. Of course now i'm already in emotional shambles. But then the docter that tests me says i'll spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair (or as i say at this piont "what's left of it.") Later i find out my friend passed away during my testing, and i bid my final farewell to a lifeless corps on a stretcher, while i reach out from my own.
After a week in the hospital i'm returned home, and my room has been rearranged on the mainfloor, instead of the second floor where it used to be. I call up my remaining out of school friends, to chat, and unload my heart's problems. I only get through to one of them, and he only has 2 minutes to talk as he's boarding a plane to a different continent, where he'll be moving. I find out that my only other out-of-school, and now only friend, has been so traumatized by my whole episode that he has truned to drugs to cope, so now i've lost all my friends.
This is where it ends. There isn't really much of a way left for me to recover but the events have been horrific enough. i suppose you could add your own ending where my entire faily including extended family get assassinatated, or something, but i'm gonna put the breaks on now, wipe my tears and start on the next answer.
Btw, figured out my theme yet? no? then continue…
Physical torture. Also known for me as the least effective would involve the following methods.
- Either stab, burn out, or blindfold my eyes so i can't see. I hate to endure pain, but being unable to see where and how it's coming doubles the shame and fear factors.
- Break my legs, so that i can't get away. (one of my biggest fears in life is to be one way or another restrained to a wheelchair; either parapelegic or quadripalegic)
- After that it really doesn't matter, they've already won. They've have taken away the one thing men were made for, freedom and the ability to grasp it. I suppose they could also remove my brain to prevent me from thinking, but for torture to be successful the person still needs to be alive.
I hope now after all of this you realise that, to me, torture is simply the removal of freedom in bad circumstances, especially the ones where you need to have it.
And that's it. Hope i've made you think twice before sending me another morbid topic. And honestly, what's with all this really personal nosing around and stuff. Have we ever met, i mean, outside of networking? cuz if we have… i'll just let that hang… i could say something i'd regret, and i do NOT stand for that. Any ways, i'd just like to know, seeing as how you've undoubtedly found out who i am.
I hope you're happy, cuz now i sure ain't :(
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